Download the Phub-Free Workplace one-pager

Throughout my career, I’ve usually had a weekly one-on-one with my boss: my single dedicated hour to get current, seek advice, and prepare for another week. Back in the more primitive technological years, I’d leave most one-on-ones feeling great—I’ve been heard, we’ve connected, we’re aligned. But as smartphones got smarter, I began leaving many of these meetings frustrated. Why? Our one-on-ones now had a third participant: a smartphone that my boss was looking at rather than me. I was getting phubbed.

Phubbing is the act of snubbing someone with a phone. It happens constantly and, as research shows, it’s constantly undermining morale, critical relationships, and workplace well-being (Roberts, David, 2017).

During conversations, normal eye contact creates a sense of mutual presence (Abeele, Antheunis, Schouten, 2016). It contributes to both parties feeling heard and equally invested in the interaction. Averted gaze, on the other hand, signals a lack of presence: boredom, distraction, disconnection. Phubbing takes this lack of presence to a whole new level.

At its best, phubbing is reactive: the phone dings, a simple “sorry one second” is uttered, conversation halts for a moment, then the phone is put away. This is disruptive but can be somewhat forgivable; maybe it was an important text or email. At its worst, phubbing is proactive. One moment, you’re talking to a fully present human and the next moment, for no discernible reason, you’re talking at a vacuous nodding head that’s mumbling “uh huh, sure, uh huh” out of sync with your sentences. You likely continue talking as if unfazed, but your phubee (phubbing victim) contempt rises: get off the freakin’ phone! It didn’t even ring! Do you hear a word I’m saying?! Because you can’t see your colleague’s screen, it might as well be Instagram. 

When phubbed, it’s like being told, “what you’re doing and saying doesn’t matter.” Once the interaction ends, rather than tackling meaningful tasks with passion, you’re frustrated and can’t help but dwell on the distressed relationship: Do I now have to fight to be heard? Am I overreacting? At our next discussion, will s/he even remember what we talked about? 

Though I hate being phubbed, I must face my own hypocrisy. I’ve phubbed countless times. We are all constant perpetrators, victims, and witnesses to phubbing. To make matters worse, research shows that phubbing is actually contagious (Chotpitayasunondh, Douglas, 2016). If one person pulls out a phone during a meeting, there can be a domino effect until you have a dejected meeting leading speaking to a room of people who are checking email, texting memes, and reading Trump’s latest tweet. Though phubbing is the new “normal”, it results in eroded trust, relational instability, and workplace dissatisfaction. So how the phub can we stop it? Here’s how...

Take Action

• Prioritize presence. You may think you’re being a productive multitasker when you’re shooting off emails while also having a one-on-one conversation. In reality, you’re neglecting the very things that actually increase productivity: trust, healthy teams, camaraderie, and positive work environments. If you know you’ll need to be on your phone during a meeting, consider changing the meeting time to ensure uninterrupted conversation. If that’s not possible, start your meeting by telling your colleagues that you’re waiting on a call or email; this can help reduce the negative impact.

• If you’re a boss or manager, research shows that employee retention is strongly tied to an employee’s relationship with you. Put your phone away during meetings. You may never receive an explicit compliment for being “present”, but in the long run your employees will feel valued.

• As an organization, educate your workforce on phubbing and establish a Phub-Free Culture (download PDF). Consider specific phone etiquettes such as Phub-Free Zones. Include “attentiveness” as a factor in employee and manager reviews, incentivising presence and holding everyone accountable.

Thanks for reading. Project [Re]Work will be back in your inbox next Monday morning with new research to enhance your workplace performance. If you missed the last article “Be The Real MVP”, catch up here. Now, go build a phub-free world!

Join The Conversation

Been phubbed recently? Caught yourself phubbing? Share your experiences and feedback on LinkedIn, or over email. Help spread the phub-free message by sharing this article with your colleagues, friends, and HR/culture leaders.

Definitions

• Phubbing: A portmanteau of the words “phone” and “snubbing” that describes the act of snubbing someone by paying attention to one’s phone rather than to the social interaction.

• Phubber: A perpetrator of phubbing.

• Phubbee: A victim of phubbing.

References

Roberts, J. A., & David, M. E. (2017). Put down your phone and listen to me: How boss phubbing undermines the psychological conditions necessary for employee engagement. Computers in Human Behavior, 75, 206-217. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2017.05.021

Bavelas, J. B. (2002). Listener Responses as a Collaborative Process: The Role of Gaze. Journal of Communication, 52(3), 566-580. doi:10.1093/joc/52.3.566

Vanden Abeele, M. M., Antheunis, M. L., & Schouten, A. P. (2016). The effect of mobile messaging during a conversation on impression formation and interaction quality. Computers in Human Behavior, 62, 562-569. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.04.005

Dwyer, R. J., Kushlev, K., & Dunn, E. W. (2018). Smartphone use undermines enjoyment of face-to-face social interactions. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 78, 233-239. doi:10.1016/j.jesp.2017.10.007

Vanden Abeele, M. M., & Postma-Nilsenova, M. (2018). More Than Just Gaze: An Experimental Vignette Study Examining How Phone-Gazing and Newspaper-Gazing and Phubbing-While-Speaking and Phubbing-While-Listening Compare in Their Effect on Affiliation. Communication Research Reports, 35(4), 303-313. doi:10.1080/08824096.2018.1492911

Chotpitayasunondh, V., & Douglas, K. M. (2018). The effects of “phubbing” on social interaction. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 48(6), 304-316. doi:10.1111/jasp.12506

Chotpitayasunondh, V., & Douglas, K. M. (2016). How “phubbing” becomes the norm: The antecedents and consequences of snubbing via smartphone. Computers in Human Behavior, 63, 9-18. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2016.05.018

Antheunis, M. L., Valkenburg, P. M., & Peter, J. (2007). Computer-Mediated Communication and Interpersonal Attraction: An Experimental Test of Two Explanatory Hypotheses. CyberPsychology & Behavior, 10(6), 831-836. doi:10.1089/cpb.2007.9945

Karadağ, E., Tosuntaş, Ş. B., Erzen, E., Duru, P., Bostan, N., Mızrak Şahin, B., … Babadağ, B. (2016). The Virtual World’s Current Addiction: Phubbing. Addicta: The Turkish Journal on Addictions, 3(2). doi:10.15805/addicta.2016.3.0013

Thaler, R. H. (2015). Misbehaving: The Making of Behavioral Economics. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company.